So, Shannon has this dog… His name(s) is(are) Buddy(Boosin, Weezle, Sprinkle, Puffin’, Puffin’-lube, Baby-Angel-Man, Lil’ Muffin’ Man, Baby Gorbella from Planet Zuron. I’ve probably missed a number of them). He’s pretty much the rudest little dog that you will ever meet in your entire life. The moment you step foot into her house, he comes flying out of his hiding spots (they always seem to change since I can never really come to a good conclusion as to where he’s coming from) ripping at your legs with his razor sharp talons. If I could draw you a picture, I would, and it would certainly give you nightmares, but I think I’ll spare your dreams tonight. Don’t ever believe what pictures Shannon many draw of little “Boosin”. He’s not a little “innocent man” as she says.
Today as I was racing to class to deliver my essay (that I worked so diligently through the night last night to complete) I found that I ended up parking next to Lexi in the parking lot. WOAH! Totallllaay by accident! After class, I found some papers stuck underneath Eldon’s windshield wipers. One was a note from Lexi that read, “Patch! Did you know that you parked next to me?! I love you! ..P.S. – I can’t wait to carve pumpkins with you and Shannon on Friday!” I loved getting a note stamped to the hood of my car! Well, at least when I thought it was just a note.
I then found another piece of paper behind Lexi’s note. It was a drawing by Shannon. A drawing that would ruin my day–wait no–my entire weekend. The picture is pretty self explanatory. For the past week Shannon has been changing the words to various songs such as The President’s of the United States of America’s song “Peaches” or rather just fitting Boosin’s name in the lyrics. She gets some sick joy out of it, I dunno…
“Millions of Boosins. Boosins for me… Boosins come from a can, they were put there by a man!”
Also, “Boosin, take the wheel! Take it from my hands!”
What am I supposed to do with this? Anyway, I’m going to the gym with her after she gets off work. We’ll see if I don’t push her into moving traffic
Love Always,
Patch
This is probably the best post you’ve ever written, ever. And i thought Boosin was a real dog. I didn’t know it was a weiner dog. THAT’S RIGHT, SHANNON, I CALLED YOUR EVIL DOG NOT REAL. Take that!
I’m assuming you didn’t push her into traffic for her transgressions? Because I haven’t finished your blog yet, mostly because it refuses to work for me and I can’t find an archive feature to start at the beginning.
I officially veto your blog theme. No sir.