It was seriously cold last night. We’re a bunch of wimps here in Texas. Before the temperature can drop to the 50s or 40s we’re crying for our mama. Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but it was still pretty cold last night. Cold enough to make Shannon shriek at the top of her lungs in my car while I’m driving. Oh wait, she already does that. I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to get down to the same temp tonight, and maybe even a couple degrees colder! I enjoy the cold, actually. I think it’s nice. As long as Shannon is screaming in someone else’s right ear.
Last night Shannon and I were hanging out in the back of my Jeep’s tailgate in the gym parking lot after our workout (as usual). After a while I looked at her and said, “I feel like we need to go walk around Walmart.” Shannon’s first thought was “A-OKAY!” Though, she didn’t actually say that. I could just see it on her face! We got inside Walmart and immediately she burst out laughing. What now… This old, awkward looking man had walked by us and Shannon, at first glance, thought he was her boss’ wife’s mother. Huh? I dunno. I pointed him (her?) out again when we were at check out just for fun.
Shannon has to buy the most random and nasty crap in the entire world. Seriously. After I could pull myself away from a tub of fruit cake mix (it looked interesting, but mostly like vomit), I followed her to an isle where she picked up nasty peanut butter bars. In the same isle some employee of the Walmart was mumbling under his breath something like, “What the hell are you laughing at??” and Shannon thought he was talking to us. We left that isle and she felt the need to name every cereal box on the shelf. Seriously, if you didn’t know her (which you probably don’t), you’d think she’s autistic, right?
Alright, our next stop was the pet section. Yeah. Boosin. (sigh..) She came across these stupid dog sweaters and thought they were just the sweetest things. She just had to get one for Boosin. There was a hole in the top of the sweater for what is supposed to be the leash, but I think it’s for his horns. Like a Boosin outta Hell. Straight from the abyss.
When we were at the check out counter, the cashier was trying to convince Shannon that she should trade in the sweater for some dog treats. In my opinion, he doesn’t need anything. Anyway, it got pretty heated between the two of them. Shannon won, obviously, since she actually left the store with that idiotic sweater that Boosin will most likely eat his way out of. Gosh.. I hate typing his name “Boosin” in here so much. The spell check is FLIPPING out… I wanna know where the heck she came up with that name.
On our way to the car she coughed up a huge man snot glob. She does that pretty much once a day in my presence. Once she did it while I was driving and spit it out the window. We found it smeared across my Jeep when I dropped her off…
When we finally made our way our of the parking lot, we saw some camping trailers parked at the end of the parking lot. For some reason I thought we should bang on the doors of them and drive off. Don’t worry, we didn’t actually do that. Shannon was certain a mob of evil hillbillies would come pouring out of them ready to skin us and turn us into lamb shanks. I guess we’ll never know..
Well, all is well for now. Shannon and Lexi should be here soon to carve pumpkins for the weekend. I’m outta here!
Love always,
Patch
